Player 5: Imbalance of Terror (pt 2)

Last time, on Tales of Woot:

And now, the continuation . . .

Captain's log, supplemental. Sometimes, in the line of duty, a Captain is caught in totally coincidental situations which threaten his very life. It seems that a totally random and unforeseeable fire has consumed this structure I found myself in. I spent some time this morning trying to figure out how to delete some of the log entries I stored in my brain. Unfortunately they don't teach us that in the Academy. If I survive this, I might put in for reassignment to teach cadets how to deal with being stranded on bizarre worlds where the very laws of physics don't even apply and most things exist just to murder you. Perhaps I will devise some sort of class 4 probe that contains a small photonic detonator and I will have a lecture where I just shoot those at students for a few hours.

However, I did not have much time to contemplate my syllabus. With most of the structure gone, and because someone had removed most of the torches scattered around the compound, monsters started attacking me right where I slept. I had to beat this creature with my bare hands. Fortunately, it did not explode, but it did resemble a partially decaying humanoid of some sort. Good thing I took the zombie extension courses at Starfleet Academy. No - wait - there aren't any zombie extension courses at Starfleet Academy.

In the light of the morning, I examined what was left of the building. The (apparently fireproof) glass was just floating in the air where it was originally. Why anybody would build something out of anything but this magical glass I don't know. In fact, in the glorious view of hindsight, it seems quite foolish to build anything out of a material that burns so quickly and completely, and then cover it in flaming torches. I was beginning to have a deep resentment for the native residents of this world. Sleep deprivation was weakening my grip on the Prime Directive. I still needed to flee this place before the moron who built it returned. I mean, before the sanctified and honorable race of primitive souls climbs out of whatever stupid caves they've been hiding in and reclaims their perfectly suitable smouldering ruins. There, I honored my duty to respect the local society.

Then, however, I found a curious thing. Under where the tower once was I found a hidden staircase. Perhaps someone meant for the building to burn down. Perhaps I didn't violate the Prime Direc -- I mean perhaps the random and completely out-of-my-control fire that just happened to start near me was totally a good thing.

The stairs led to a short tunnel underground. I decided to just leave these torches where they were. I was very hopeful that this secret tunnel would finally lead me to the answers I desperately sought.

Oh, it just leads to the stupid underground storage room, which has now been infested with what appears to be animated humanoid skeletons armed with primitive bows. That's what this world needed: animated humanoid skeletons armed with ranged weapons.

Oh, wait -- the tunnel LED to the underground storage room, which HAD BEEN infested with humanoid skeletons which WERE animated and SHOT at me with arrows. Why am I supposed to record these logs in the past tense if I'm just thinking about them as they happen? Answer that for me, Starfleet Academy. Stupid Professor Data and his big positronic asshole face, teaching an entire semester about taking logs and yet never telling us what to do about animated corpses. Your inaction to tell me what to do about skeletons with bows and arrows has led me to great harm. WHAT ABOUT THE THREE LAWS, DATA? WHAT ABOUT THE THREE LAWS?

I went ahead and just rebuilt my signal, less worried about upsetting the locals (since, you know, I already burned their house down), and set off to the mountains. I just wanted to leave this stupid, deadly place.

Nearby I saw a cave in the ground, apparently lit from within with more magic torches. I decided not to explore it, since it would probably be as full of animated skeletons as everything else was. Or maybe this cave was full of an entirely new monster of some sort, like giant spiders, or something else right out of my nightmares. One thing I can say about this world is that with most of the monsters taking various humanoid forms, at least there aren't any spiders. I hate spiders.

As I got closer to the mountain, I could see that there appeared to be some sort of artificial structure atop it. Perhaps it would not be as good a hiding place as I thought. Still, I decided to go ahead and investigate it. Hopefully if it was entirely made of rock there would be less risk of me completely destroying this one.

I found a long set of stairs leading to the top of the mountain. It all seemed deserted, like it was placed there for me to find. Had I appeared in a remote section of the world, or was this all there was on the entire planet?

I went up the stairs, feeling good about not joining the rock climbing club at the Academy. If the mountains all have staircases, I wouldn't need any rock climbing experience.

The view was quite impressive from atop the mountain platform. I could see no other structures in the distance, aside from the ruins of the building I had left. Was this world truly empty?

The platform had a strange hatch, leading to a long, narrow hole. I could fit inside, but I would certainly not survive a fall through it. Take that, world. I have avoided one of your many stupid traps. You will have to try harder than that to get this captain.

The platform had a long bridge connecting it with another nearby mountaintop, with a line of magic torches running along it. I thought about adding these torches to my collection, but I had enough already.

More torches were scattered about at the end of the bridge. Someone - or something- had been here before me. I was beginning to think these were not signs of civilization, but of a single individual, exploring this dangerous world. Like me, was my predecessor alone? Where was he now - er, then? Where was he at this point, when I was there; as opposed to now when I'm recording this? Where was he going to have been when I was where I was being to have gone. -- Whatever, you get what I'm trying to say.

Atop the next mountain, I found something quite bizarre. A small pool of water, set inside the mountain, was filled with a creature quite similar to pigs from Earth. How they found their way into the hole is beyond me, but they could obviously not escape. Was this the work of my predecessor once again? If this was supposed to be a source of food, why would it be so far from the compound? I may not have taken the "Constructing a Lake of Pigs" course at the Academy, but I know enough to not put it so far into the area where you could be pretty easily killed and / or exploded.

Pleased by the sight of animals that did not want to attack me, I decided to help the pig creatures escape from the hole. It felt good to actively thwart my predecessor's actions. All in all, this was a good moment for my morale.

The strange moon of this world was rising again. Would the dangerous night monsters soon be upon me? I suddenly felt that I had just doomed the pig creatures to a fate similar that of the wooden structure I destroyed. I was a bit of a harbinger of doom on this planet. I better get back to my bed, I have some log editing to do.

I decided that I would go back to the ruins and try to decipher more about this world. In hindsight perhaps I should have tried to learn more about this world before I burned what is my only real shelter to the ground. This really is the Academy's fault. They did not prepare me for this. Ask me about a no-win scenario, I'll have your answer, but I am just dreadfully unprepared to deal with animated humanoid skeletons and lakes of pigs and walking torpedoes. I'll have to prepare a letter to Professor Data.

Dear Professor Data, Thank you for telling me all about Quantum Neutrinos and Transducers. The joke you told us about the Ferengi in a Gorilla suit was great fun to retell at parties. Oh, hey, I had a quick thought. Maybe in the future you can teach your cadets actual information that will keep them from being murdered the moment they set foot on a strange planet. Here's a tip you can tell cadets in the future: never use the Holodeck. Problem solved. Also I still think I deserved an A on that paper about Ancient Bajoran literature.

When I get back to the ship, I'm having my engineer turn the Holodeck into a storage bay. Better yet, I'm just going to have it removed altogether, and the entire room will just be open to space. HOLLOW DECK.

While I'm on the subject, I'll just go ahead and never use the transporters again, either. From now on, it's nothing but shuttles for me.

Now hold on, Captain. Get a hold of yourself. Remember your first Duty: respect all worlds. This planet isn't that bad. It has its own unique beauty. There is something very calming about the subtle motion of the clouds, and the gentle rolling of the hills. In fact, it's almost -- wait a second, what is . . .

OH GO TO HELL YOU STUPID PLANET.

To be continued . . .

Player 5: The Entrapment Snare Factor (pt 1)

by Shauvon McGill

Captain's Log, Stardate four seven nine six one point two. I have been stranded. After a routine mission analyzing a globular cluster in the Caldora sector, I decided to give my crew a day to relax and catch up on some much needed R&R. I took the opportunity to try out a new Holodeck program I found recently, recreating the late-twentieth century phenomenon known as "Battlebots." However, the Holodeck malfunctioned, causing my ship, the U.S.S. Bozeman, to be overwhelmed with killer robots. My chief engineer decided to, rather cleverly, solve the problem using the ship's transporter, to beam me out of the dangerous area of the ship. However, since we were so close to the R-415 Globular Cluster, excess epsilon radiation overwhelmed our tertiary field grid, and I woke up here, on this unknown world.

It is a picturesque world, full of gentle hillsides and unassuming foliage. I have no way of knowing exactly what planet this is, however, so I must be careful.

I seem to be in good shape. I am still in the period clothes I was wearing in the Holodeck, so I do not have access to my com-badge or tricorder. As a result, I am committing this log entirely to my memory, as I was trained to do in the Academy. Duty dictates that I am not caught without having taken a log of the proceedings. Still, something about my condition feels . . . strange.

I am standing on a tower attached to some sort of construction. It is a simple wood-frame house with glass windows. From the looks of it, it is pre-industrial. There is no plumbing or electricity to be found. I certainly will find no help from the locals.

In fact, my first order of business will be to get away from this structure immediately. I do not belong here, and I could drastically disrupt the society here if I were found. Above all else, I must not violate the Prime Directive and cause any impact on this primitive society.

However, that poses a problem. The Bozeman is certainly looking for me, and once they track me to this planet they will be able to trace the transporter pattern to this location. If I left this general area, it will substantially increase the time it will take them to find me. I will have to leave some sort of marker for a search party to know which way I went.

The front door to this building has some sort of markings next to it. They must be a form of primitive language.

Inside is a large room, with several bookcases lining the opposite wall. The entire place looks deserted, but whomever lives here must be an avid reader.

A ladder leads underground. Curiosity got the better of me and I decided to quickly look for some clues about my situation. I felt strangely comfortable here, like it was all somehow familiar.

It seems to be a large storage room of some kind. Many chests abound with more strange markings above each one. If I knew how to read this strange language perhaps I could find some useful tools or, if the situation merits, some sort of functional blocks. I would never know how to tell which chest contains such things, though.

A sign of some sort was standing in front of a door inside the storage room. Not knowing what the sign reads, I have no idea if it is a marker, or a warning.

The room was empty, though, so it must not be very important.

I decided to leave before I got into any trouble down there. I still do not know where I am, or for that matter, how to leave a message for my crew.

It was getting very dark outside, and the planet's only apparent moon was rising from the horizon. I could see some mountains there which might prove to be adequate shelter from the locals.

And then, finally, I saw one of the "locals." A very sickly-looking four-legged creature. Upon noticing me, it began running in my direction.

And then exploded. This planet seems to be much more dangerous than I originally thought. No wonder this building was surrounded by a large rock wall.

Another one of the exploding creatures noticed me, and I just had time to run back to the fortress, still holding the dirt that was flung at me from the first explosion.

That was a close one. I will have to keep a sharp eye in this world, especially at night.

Back in safety, I noticed that I was holding, in addition to the dirt, an unlit torch which must have been cast up by the explosion. Perhaps it would be helpful, even in constructing a message to my crew, but I had no idea how to light it.

But as soon as I stuck it into the ground, it lit itself. These strange magical torches were attached all over the building, I realized, and they never seem to go out or spread their flame to nearby objects. This world seems to have some very strange properties.

I decided to get some sticks from a nearby tree (within the safety wall), to try to make some more magic torches of my own.

But instead of simply breaking some branches or bark away, the trunk broke off in my hands. Again, this world's bizarre properties surprised me, as . . .

. . . the tree then . . .

. . . completely . . .

. . . disappeared! A small version of the tree fell out of it as it faded away. I decided to plant it where the tree stood. Perhaps this is the strange way in which plants propagate themselves on this world.

Good as new.

I broke the tree trunk into small pieces, similar to the torches. However, they do not seem to work the same way. I could simply place the sticks in the shape of an arrow pointing to the mountains in the distance, quietly informing any away parties that I traveled in that direction. However, another strange property of this world seems to forbid me from placing these sticks anywhere. I decided to venture out once more to try to find more secrets.

But more of those strange creatures were awaiting me. I was able to deftly avoid their explosive attacks, however.

Their explosions opened up a large cave underground, just outside the protective wall.

This world seems to be very rich with raw minerals. Normally I would be rich with such a wealth of resources just under the ground, but here I had no real use for them. Here is a small coal deposit opened up by my recent encounter. As a side note, don't try to collect coal with a stick. I still can't really figure out what these sticks are good for.

I make-shifted a pickaxe out of a stick and some stone back at the structure, to try to extract the coal from the deposit.

Strangely, the coal came right out of the rock quite easily - once I had the right tool, that is.

Then I tried my hand at some ore, which I extracted just as easily. I came up with an idea.

I noticed that the storage room contained a bank of large furnace-like mechanisms. They had two slots, and I think I figured out just what they were for. Sure enough, the ore fit in the top, and the coal I found fit in the bottom. In no time at all the ore was turned into iron. The immediacy and simplicity of this world was definitely admirable, but apparently comes at a price.

I found some flint in the explosion cave outside, and with the iron I had a working solution for starting a fire.

I tried to light some of the wood I had gathered on fire, and it was just as easy as everything else in this world. However, it was also just as fast. The wood burned to nothing in a matter of seconds. Just like the torches, though, it didn't spread to anything around it. I couldn't, however, use the flint to turn one of my sticks into a magic torch. This world still held many secrets.

I went back to the top of the tower to survey my surroundings and see if I could come up with a plan. Fortunately, I saw the perfect thing to do. I would need some torches, though.

I gathered some torches from the lower level and around the building. I hoped that whomever created them in the first place could just create some more.

I placed the torches in an arrow shape on the roof of the building. It was the perfect plan. Nobody around the building would notice, but it would be easily seen from space, like from the Bozeman in orbit.

Now, since I had gone through several days without seeing another person here (at least, none that didn't explode at me), I didn't think there would be any harm in spending another night here. There was a comfortable looking bed in the corner of the room.

The only problem was that now that all of the torches were gone, the room was quite dark, and I was afraid the local nocturnal creatures would return in the darkness. I would be much more comfortable with a bit more light, but since all I knew how to do was light a large fire, I figured that would have to do.

I lit a fire and prepared to get some sleep. I didn't worry too much about the blaze because I had seen that fire is quite easy to control and didn't spread at all. If the Academy taught me anything, it taught me that good Starfleet officers can enact a plan without running any tests on it. This fire would be perfect for both safety and comfort.

Perhaps I should have run a few more tests.

To be continued . . .